Happy Hollow Weenie Platters

Hi everybody!  Fall is one of my most favorite times of year.  Everyone is festive, the leaves are all rustle-y and there's a pumpkin on every doorstep.  It's this time of year that makes me craaaaave living elsewhere.  I love weather!  And thankfully I'll be moving to Chicago in January so there'll be a snowflake or two.  Or 80 million.  :)

Anyway, in honor of the festive season, I thought I'd make some Halloween Platters.  Hope you like 'em!

First, I made mini cinnamon donuts. 

I LOVE these donuts.  I think they're dreadfully cute!

Then I made some Chocolate Caramel Rice Krispy Treat Pops. 

Did you know that you can make different flavors of Rice Krispy Treats by adding some Torani syrup or a little cinnamon? 

Oh my gosh, I ADORE these little ghost cupcakes.  Underneath they're vanilla buttermilk cupcakes with vanilla bean frosting.  The 'sheet' is a roll out of white fondant.  I stole this idea from a man named Deveraux here in Los Angeles.  He does the most amazing sugar cookies & then for Halloween does these ghost cupcakes as well.

Then I made some mini banana bread loaves with candied pecans. 

These turned out really well. I was happy.  :)

I couldn't decide which picture I liked more:

Then I made some chocolate peanut butter covered oreos with sca-a-a-a-ary designs.

(Shoulda made one with a United Airlines logo.  HA!)

HOLY YUM, BATMAN.

Then I made evil cupcakes.  I even turned my camera setting to the eerie red color. 

(Eerie Red Setting:  Technical Term).

These were so fun!!!

And last but not least... red velvet cake truffle eyeballs. 

Uber creepy!  :)

It's what MY eyes have been looking like lately. 

And that's awesome!

NOT.

AND THIS PICTURE IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. 

I know how to freakin' rotate a picture but for some reason either Irfanview or Blogspot or My Documents won't let me do it when I go to use that version of it here.

So there ya go.  Turn your heads. Argh.

And that's the end.

But wait!!! The finished product!!!  :)  :)  :)

Ta-da!!!

Up close & personal now...

Hope you all have a wonderful Halloween!!!

Especially you, SLM.  I love you always, always.

Love,

MandiCrocker

Dear United & It Feels So Goooooood...

Dear friends!  This past week I went to upstate New York and had a splendiferous time with Mommy! (my mother), The Skirtboy (my brother), Meggie (his beautiful girlfriend) and The Sweet Lovin' Man.  On my way home tragedy struck by way of United Airlines... The following is a letter written from me to those dear, fine people who took away precious hours of my life. 

My knickers have since unbunched themselves (I think writing the letter was therapeutic) and I've begun taking deep breaths again.  Yay me!  Ultimately I view the whole ordeal as being ridiculously funny... BUT unacceptable.  Please forgive me for the MandiCrocker you know momentarily became MandiCrackWhore... and United don't care! (Get it?  Like 'Jimmy crack corn and I don't care?'  Nevermind). Here is the letter...

***********************************************************


Dear United,


I’m going to keep this as short & as sweet as humanly possible because you’ve already taken up enough of my time & money. Here’s what you did wrong:


1) You delayed my United 659 5:58pm flight from Albany to Los Angeles (thru Chicago) for an hour due to mechanical issues. Then by two hours. Delays happen, I’m an understanding person. I can deal. After the problem was fixed, the plane leaves from Chicago to Albany. Hallelujah. We wait a great deal longer just happy the plane is in the air & finally coming for us. Then after waiting hours & hours, you cancel the flight. The crew would have too many hours in the sky. That’s not the problem for me—of course your employees deserve to be done after their hourly allowance is up. It’s the amount of time it took you to FIGURE THAT OUT. Everyone looked around & was like, “They seriously couldn’t have figured that out an hour & a half ago when the plane took off???” Infuriating. It was obvious the ball was dropped.


2) Thanks to your wonderful flight cancellation, I missed Monday’s workday. As a person that lives paycheck to paycheck you don’t even know how badly this affected me or the domino affect it’s going to have. AWESOME.


3) Then we get put up in the Albany Best Western. The hotel was shady, felt unclean and we were afraid to lie down. Hurray.  We could hear entire conversations through the wall and in case you were wondering, our neighbors microwaved hot pockets for dinner.  The pockets were ‘soooo good’ but 'they probably aren't really.'  They were just super hungry & 'anything tastes good to me right now.' Also, they regretted not getting the ice cream they talked about at the store. So sad.



4) The shuttle service was ridiculous. They only had one van so they had a 15 minute interval sign up list. By the time we found out about said list, the shuttles were full & we’d have to be on a 4am shuttle to make it to the airport on time. In response, a bunch of us took a cab. This cab ride was $95 for a 5 minute drive for four people. One of the riders took a cab from the airport to the hotel the night before & said it cost four of them $10 total. While I can’t blame you for the extortion of a cab company I can blame you for booking us in a shoddy hotel that gives out the number of a crap taxi service. Another added expense due to this cancellation.


5) Finally we all get on the freakin’ plane & land in Chicago. You got that right. Good for you. I was on standby (with 60-90) other people all day long trying to get a flight to Los Angeles. LAME. Finally I was booked on a 3:20 flight & we landed in LA. You’re not gonna believe this but I was actually in a good mood. I viewed it as a crazy adventure. I knew from the night before I was booked on the 3:20 flight so I just did my best to grin & bare it & not think about the financial or professional ramifications of the situation. I was nice & respectful to all of your employees and I would like to give Kudos to David Noel (?) and the Albany staff because they had to put up with a lot of bad attitudes & were very nice. I would have been able to have forgotten this whole thing completely except… *sigh*…


6) I got to the baggage claim & no bag. David told me that although I was booked on the 3:20 flight out, I could try standby all day & try and get an earlier flight. And just in case, he’d send my bag on the first flight to LA. So I kinda wasn’t expecting it to be there. I went to visit baggage claim. I told him the situation, walked around the baggage room & finally gave him my ticket so he could look it up. He gave me a strange look and said—waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait for it—

"Have you been in MAUI?”

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????????????

Could it get any freakin’ more WRONG???? MAUI, PEOPLE!!!

I said “NA-HOOOOO!!!”

And he said, “Well, it looks like your bag arrived in LA & then they sent it to Maui. I have no idea why they’d do that.”

So someone picked my bag off the claim and for poodelys & hee-haws decided to send it to Maui????? What the F* BOMB, BATMAN???? He told me to check with the baggage attendant outside in the claim area & she said the same thing. MAUI. I filled out the proper paper work & was told my bag would arrive the next day. They would call me when it got there.

************************************************************
Okay, ladies and germs. It is getting pretty intense so I'm taking a 'Time Out.' I want you to know this next part may not be suitable for gentle, puritan ears. It was a 'moment.' A very real 'moment' that I had. To deny it is to deny the wind of the sky and the canyons of their water. I could show you only the good, decent and humane parts of MandiCrocker but that would be a lie. MandiCrocker does not run from her humanity! --No! She grabs it drunkenly by the necktie and lays on it a big, sloppy wet kiss saying, "Here I am, World! Take me or leave me!" *hiccup* So, onward we go like a hooker with a heart of gold in the storytelling of this beautiful disaster... I invite your prayers.
********************************************************


7) THIS is the BEST part. This is where I turned from a nice, caring, loving ‘It’s all a big adventure!’ girl with rosy cheeks and blond locks into a demonic, monster whose soul screamed, “For the love of all that is good and holy I do this day swear that generations upon generations of my children will know of the horror and decimation that manifests itself when you fly United Airlines!!!"

Tuesday rolls around & no bag. No surprise at this point.

This is really, MOST ABSOLUTELY, the best part.

 You should sit down…

I GET A FREAKING PHONE CALL AT 1:45AM IN THE MORNING!!!!!

WHAT THE F********************************CK KIND OF BUSINESS ARE YOU RUNNING!!!??????

I only answered because I thought it was an emergency!!! My boyfriend’s diabetic & occasionally he calls if there’s an incident. (Thanks for that heart attack)!! Then some dufus buttnugget gets on the phone:


Dufus: “Hey, we’ve got your bag here. We’re gonna deliver it right now is that cool? We’ve got another delivery in the area, so…”


I was utterly, completely dumbfounded & writhing with anger. “NOOOOO!!! YOU CAN’T FREAKING DELIVER MY BAG NOW!!!!!!!!” It took everything in me to not use every expletive I’ve ever heard in my life at this person.


He tries to work out another time & I’m so FREAKING dumbfounded & angry that at 1:45 in the morning I barely make sense. And why the H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-HELL would he not GET OFF THE PHONE and call me back at a RESPECTFUL time the next day when he heard my reaction!!??????????? SERIOUSLY!!! HOW FREAKIN’ AUDACIOUS!!!??? THEY SOUNDED LIKE THEY DO THIS ALL THE TIME!!! DO THEY DO THIS ALL THE TIME??!!!  TELL ME THEY DON’T DO THIS ALL THE TIME!!!


He hands the phone over to some other woman, “Hi ma’am. We’re making deliveries to Studio City & we’re gonna drop off your bag tonight!” Like she’s doing me a favor. HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Again, just flabbergasted, ‘NO!!! YOU’RE NOT!!!” And she says, “Well, we’ll be really busy tomorrow so we won’t get it to you til really late.”



I had a doctor’s appointment late afternoon & just KNEW if I postponed this delivery I’d never see my bag again. So I finally just said “FINE, DELIVER THE FREAKIN’ BAG.”



“They’re on their way!”



My blood is so boiled that I’m now wide awake & just decide to wait up for my bag. Late at night it takes 30 minutes max to get from LAX to my house. Your incompetent employees took TWO HOURS. If they had 12 deliveries ahead of time they shouldn’t have said, “They’re on their way.” They should have said “IT’LL BE TWO HOURS. GOOD LUCK.”



So!!! Not only did you manage to make me lose a work day but you also made me drop dead tired & basically lethargic for ANOTHER work day. Unbelievable.



I’m just…I’m flabbergasted. Stunned. MAD. FREAKING EXHAUSTED. All of the above.



Delays, cancellations… whatever, they happen. I really AM (I try) a nice person and I don’t write letters like this ever. But the whole bag situation & calling me in the middle of the night… when at this point United should be pussyfooting around me because of all the wretched mistakes you've made.

JUST INCOOOOOOOMPETENCE.

And in response to this whole situation, I WANT THINGS. I WANT COMPENSATION. I WANT A REFUND. I WANT MY LOST WORK WAGES. I WANT FREE TICKETS. I WANT A FREE TRIP TO PARIS WITH HOTEL EXPENSES PAID! I WANT A HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS AND A YACHT! I WANT TO DANCE IN P-DIDDY MUSIC VIDEOS!!! I WANT THE BLOOD OF VIRGINS!!! I WANT EVERYTHING I AM SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Look, I don’t know what kind of twinkly little magical apology letter it is that you do but it better be the most amazing apology letter of all time. Because as of right now I’ve been telling everyone I can about this story & to never fly United. I’ve got a blog, I’ve got a zillion friends on Facebook, thousands on Twitter… I’m calling you up at 1:45 in the morning & asking you how this story ends. You tell me… cause as of right now, I wouldn’t DREAAAAAAAAAAM of flying with you again. It makes me want to write Mr. Noel & beg him to convert to Southwest!!!!

*SIGH*

And you know what?  It really was the phone call. You had a chance to redeem yourselves with the bag in Maui thing but you do NOT mess with my sleep when I already work two jobs. I’m already exhausted… you didn’t need to add to it. But... ya did.

FIX IT.

The end. This wasn’t short at all.  And I am sooo not spellchecking.

Sincerely,
MandiCrocker



818-555-5555 ( You might want to think 'bank hours' before you try to use this!)

MandiCrocker Fo' Reals! :)

Hey all!

So my wonderful friend Dawn is in a theater group called 'TheSpyAnts' and they perform at Ford Theater with two other theater groups.  Last night they all had this ginormous fundraiser to raise money for the upcoming season.

The new play that TheSpyAnts are doing is set in the 1950's and it's called 'Bobrauschenbergamerica.' (I know, right?)    Dawn asked if I would like to do a series of mini desserts with that theme in mind.  OH MY GOSH, I AM RIDICULOUS ABOUT THEMES!!  Being as how I was born in the wrong era, I thought this would be wonderfully fun!  YAY!!  AND I got to dress up like a 1950's mom.  FUN! 

So here are some of the results.  I was pretty rushed so I wasn't really able to take my time with the camera.  Hope you like them regardless!  :)

First things first, I made little mini lemon meringues with my new blow torch!  YAY!!! 

My roommate took this picture for me.  It kinda looks like a lightsaber.  COOL. 

Hello little mini lemon meringue!!!

Oh my goodness, look at all of you!  :)

I've actually never made lemon meringue pie, let alone a bunch of mini lemon meringue's with a blowtorch. 

Fun and delicious!

"Don't believe me, ask the dishes!"

I kinda overdid it on this color correcting- They're orange & bright yellow!  HA!

Then I made my pumpkin spice cupcakes with candied pecans.  It's kind of become a staple item for me.  They're so super moist and I'm lovin' that I candy the pecans myself!  So seasonally festive!  :)

I MADE LOTS OF EVERYTHING.

I DO THIS.  :)

Then I made mini strawberry cupcakes!

They're just so cute, darn it!  I love mini desserts! 

Sadly I didn't get to take a picture of everything, but here's what one of the trays consisted of: 

From left to right:  "I Like Ike" Sugar Cookies, Strawberry Cupcakes, Rice Krispy Treats, Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies, Caramel Cinnamon Rice Krispy Treats and Lemon Meringues.

And the second tray.

From left to right:  Chocolate Chip Cookies, Fudge Brownies, Mini Caramel Apple & Cherry Pies and Pumpkin Spice Cupcakes.

I made so much they had to restock it thru the night.
I am soooo my father's daughter.

ALSO I made mini 'weiners in a jello mold' because gelatin and hot dogs are fantastically (and disgustingly) 1950's.  I seriously have old cookbooks with a bundt cake jello mold with full length hot dogs inside.  CRAZY!!!  It was supposed to be a gag.  (Ha- literally!)  But I didn't get a picture.  You're welcome.

And now for the lovely event!

MandiCakes- that's me!  :)  :)  :)

It was a tad more 'swanky' than I anticipated.  The background in this picture is a fountain.  The whole event was really pretty & the weather was absolutely gorgeous. 

Here's Dawn!  She's AWESOME and HILARIOUS.

My dear friends, Chris & Marie!

Me & Dawn being goofballs. 

It was just SUPER relaxing. 

I had been up since 4:30, so I look TUCKERED OOT.

I had one glass of wine & was like, "Hey Dawn!  Hey Chris & Mar---zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

My tired eyes & attempt at 1950's hair.  So disappointed I didn't get a full length shot with the dress & a tray of cookies.  You can't really tell, but I totally looked 1950's mom!!!

 Such a bummer.  You know how you have one of those nights where you just feel pretty? 

I felt pretty!  PRETTY TIRED.  But pretty.  ;)

And I had on a super cute dress! I used it in a play forever ago & it was stuffed in my closet.  TOTALLY forgot I had it.  And Thank God that I did, cause 'costume' was kinda last on my list of things to do.  Whoops!

Speaking of thanking God, when I got home all I wanted was dinner.  The only food (aside from my astounding haul of baked goods) was bread.  Muffins, croissants and bread.  And bread.  Sliced bread.  Which could potentially be a dream if there's butter.

I KNOW!

But miraculously (Thank ya Jesus, thank ya Lawd!), my dear, wonderful, sweet, wonderful, dear, sweet wonderful neighbor Paul, was cookin' up some bbq chicken.  It was AMAZING!!!  He's one of those guys that is currently MAKING BACON.  As in curing it and smoking it for weeks kinda deal.  He's insane.  I adore insane!!!

See this here chicken?  The below is the worst, most unappetizing picture in the world but it is a blessed, blessed memory of the day that Paul bestowed this leg o' bbq chicken on me. 

I picked it up and put it DOOOOWN.

Hallelujah!!!

It was delicious. Did I mention a miracle?

Now, let me ask you this.  What foods remind YOU of the 1950's?  :)

My Birthday! :)

Today was my birthday.   :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)

I got this postcard from my friend Jen. 

I LOVE birthdays.  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)

I mean, USUALLY I use three smiley faces when I am overly excited. Today it was SEVEN! 

I do, I love my birthday.  And holidays.  I like getting stuff.  I like the attention.  I LOVE the love... as in the whole 'we love you' aspect of it.  I think that's why I like doing things for people- baking & such.  I like knowing that they feel as good as I do when someone goes out of their way for me.

My birthday is technically today.  Sunday.  But my rules are that if your birthday is on a weekend, then you get your birthday for the whole weekend.  It's only fair!  So, Saturday, I made myself some Grilled Chicken Penne a la Vodka.  If you remember from my very 2nd blog (it was a masterpiece- truly) it is my favorite meal & can be found at The Raindancer in Amsterdam, NY. 

This, however, was the 'poor man's version.'  It was more like Sauteed (Because Tim Has Yet To Clean Our George Foreman) Chicken Macaroni & Multigrain Rotini (Because That's What We Had In The House) Pasta A La Spaghetti Sauce With Whipping Cream & Onion Salt (Because We Have No Onions And Very Little Vodka).  It was pretty dang good regardless!  We had some Charles Shaw because... well, that's what you do for poor man's Grilled Chicken Penne. I also substituted Mozarella for the fancy shmancy Italian Blend.  Sacrilege!  ;)

I also had a moment to search through the Williams Sonoma bundle I got from the Sweet Lovin' Man.  It's AMAZING!!!

Mini muffin pans, 3 8-inch cake pans, a blow torch (hells yeah!), a cupcake pan & an ice cream maker!!  He also made me a mix CD (*swoon, swoon*).  He's overly good to me.  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :) :) (TEN smiley faces). 

Then, on my birthday-birthday, I made a birthday cake for someone else.  HA!  So, I'm not sure who you are, but I hope you had a fantabulous birthday, Birthday Dude. 

Chocolate Raspberry Cake.

It was a disaster.  They always are!??  I feel like I can't put together a normal cake these days.  That it needs to fall apart before I save it.  Just call me 'The Cake Whisperer!'  Talking to cake demons before I'm back to my basic ingredients again.  *sigh*

In this case, the plan was:  three layers of dark chocolate cake brushed with a raspberry brandy.  The layers were supposed to be filled with a super thin layer of chocolate frosting, fresh raspberries & chocolate mousse. 

That's how the bakery I work for primarily does it & I was excited to see how mine would turn out.  Wellllll... Note to self:  If you put mousse in a cake, you need to make the layers thinner. I NEVER remember this.  I'm always so afraid the cake is going to turn out too small & people are going to feel like they're not going to get their money's worth.  So the layers were too thick.  Therefore the mousse didn't stay fluffy, it came out the sides due to the weight of the other layers.  THEN the sides started to crumble bigtime.  This is when the headache began.  YAY!!!

Bummer #2 came when  the brandy liquer (that you boil down with water & make into a sugar syrup to brush on the cake to keep the layers moist) that I used was fairly tasteless.  So long story short, it tasted like a chocolate cake with random raspberries in it. YES!  That's exactly what I wanted!!!  NOT.

FAIL.

To remedy this I whined half-dazed to my roommate, "Frozen raspberries.  Demon cake. Raspberry Sauce. Fundraiser.  I Like Ike. Why can't I do anything right? I have a headache I'm going to bed."

So I went to bed.  When I woke up, guess what was in my freezer?  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)

FROZEN RASPBERRIES!!!!

I LOVE my roommate.  She understands my headache-babble.

Guess what I found on my cake stand!???

She understands my heartache-babble, too. :)

And no, that is not MY box of Krispy Kreme.  What?  It's NOT.  I wouldn't lie to you guys!!  Sinceriously.

They are hers.  My roomie's.  :)  Reason #4,384,495 why she's awesome.

But I am SOOOO excited for this book!  I'm going home to upstate New York in a week or two & this is going to be my best friend!!  I LOVED Julie & Julia and I'm dying to read Julia's book about Paris!!  Ahhhh!!! She rules.  The Julie's and my roomie.  And the Sweet Lovin' Man! And Birthday Dude!

But not me.  Or this cake.

So I make a raspberry sauce out of two bags of frozen raspberries.  You de-thaw them, boil them with 4 tsp of cornstarch & 1/2 cup of sugar.  Press it through a sieve (which takes quite a bit of time) and ba-da-boom.  Raspberry Sauce!

Added some raspberry brandy to chocolate buttercream (which surprisingly DID taste like berry) and that gave it some kick.  Frosted the cake. Added the sauce on the top. Chocolate sprinkles on the bottom.

Thankfully it came out all right. 

And then finally, I wrote in the raspberry sauce with white chocolate.

Holy Matrimony, I'm glad it's done.  :)

On Wednesday I'm helping my friend Dawn with a fundraiser for her theater group called 'The SpyAnts' at The Ford Theater.  I get to make a gadzillion mini desserts in a 1950's theme!  I REALLY get to dress like MandiCrocker fo' reals!  How fun!  Can't wait-- I'll be sure to share pictures.

See you soon!  Happy Baking!  :)