CARAMELLY CARAMEL CORN

It's true. They weren't lying. I have been afraid of hot caramel for the past 26 years. Since the Great Bubble Finger "Why Did You Make Me Do This, Dad!?" Caramel Popcorn Ball Travesty of '84, I've left it to the pros. Well, ladies and germs... I'm a grown woman now. I'm 30 & 1/2 years old. And I'm ready to take the big, bad boiled caramel by the cahones & show it who's boss! (And it ain't Tony Danza!)

So here we go! YAY!!! :)

INGREDIENTS:

7 quarts of plain popped popcorn (28 cups)

2 cups dry roasted peanuts (optional)

2 cups brown sugar

1/2 cup light corn syrup

1 tsp salt

1 cup butter

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp butter extract

1 'Disney's Halloween Treat' DVD and or

The Canterbury Ghost

1. I suck at making popcorn (I said that with as much class as I could muster) so you're going to have to ask a neighbor. I've tried less oil, more oil, hotter temp, lower temp & alas, my corn is always burnt and/or chewy and/or BOTH. Waaah. Suggestions?

Burnt popcorn. Blech.

But make-a zee popcorn. You can't skip this step.

Grease two shallow baking pans with butter or cooking spray. Divvy up the popcorn & nuts between the two trays. Set aside.

3. Preheat oven to 250. In a medium saucepan, combine the brown sugar, corn syrup, butter and salt.

Bring to a boil over medium heat and stir thoroughly til blended. Let it all boil for 5 minutes while stirring continuously.

Turn on a little Wham, 'Careless Whisper' to be exact & that'll take you right to the five minute mark. "Guilty feet have got-a no popcorn..."

4. Once George is over, remove the pan from the heat and stir in baking soda, vanilla & butter extract. The mixture will be light and foamy.




Immediately pour over the popcorn and stir until decently coated. And never fear! Once the caramel has been in the oven, it will be much easier to coat over the pock-orn.

Sylvia Plath, I finally get it now!

5. Bake for 1 hour. Every 15 minutes, take the pans out & stir & stir & stir. Take a minute & inhale deeply. IT SMELLS SO DELICIOUS!!! Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!

6. Line the counter top with waxed or parchment paper. Dump the GOLDEN CARMELLY DELICIOUSNESS onto the paper & break apart any chunks that are sticking. Cool completely & store in an airtight container or your underwear drawer. Cause your roomies don't go in there. :)

Oh my gosh, I just tried a few pieces of this... HOLY AUNT JEMIMA MUFFINS, one bite takes me back to Halloween in grade school. How funny that a taste can be a memory. Look what I made, Popskies! :) You may now play 'Disney's Halloween Treat' and invite your childhood best friend for life over, Shanny Bananny, and giggle & laugh & drink apple cider & eat caramel popcorn til you puke. Happy Halloween!!! :) :) :)

Too lazy to make your own? Check out Garrett's Popcorn out of Chicago.

*swoon* THE BEST POPCORN ANYWHERE. *swoon*

Who The Heck Are You, Anyway? Part 1

***Newsflash: Initially this was supposed to be a little blurb about my business & what my plans are. I got overwhelmed in the backstory & kept going farther & farther back. Somehow it has turned into a 125 part series on my life from the start & how I got to this blog. This may bore you to tears, I'm just warning you. So you bring the tissues; I'll bring the pain.***

Sometimes I get in my own little world. The Mandi J. Smith world where I work a ton, work out a ton, come home & call the boyfriend a ton, stay up too late a ton & then sleep for five seconds NOT a ton-- wake up & do it all again the next day. When I get into this routine, I forget to fill my loved ones in on what I'm doing & they get aggravated. Eeks!

I recently had a friend tell me she had no idea I'm starting an online business, something I've been working on for months & months & months. Then it occurred to me, if she doesn't know, then my blogsters (that's you!) certainly don't know. Maybe you'd want to know! Maybe you're wondering if MandiCrocker is really MandiCrockPot!!?? MandiCrackWhore!!?? Or maybe I should be called MandiCrackCornAndNoOneCares!!? So long-winded story short, this is a bit about who I am & what I'm doing. So you know a little about the girl behind the goofy seagull pictures! Word.

I grew up in beautiful upstate New York.

Hey kid, enjoy it while it lasts!

Soon your gonna be selling crack off that bike to pay your credit card bills!

Johnstown: The rich historic land that is privy to some of the most beautiful Victorian homes I've ever seen. The epitome of gorgeous small town America. Johnstown: The land where the stench of the leather mills will rot out your nostrils if you pass by on a humid summer day. The land where Bon Jovi & Def Leppard are still blasted at the 2009 Fonda Fair like 1984 albums were just created. Johnstown is half wonderfully classy & half deliciously white trash. I'm mucho proud to say I'm a little bit of both. :)

Initially, I started out as a dancer. If you didn't know I was in a highly prestigious dance company called The Verlene Tierney Dancers? Yeah. Totally awesome. We had pink satin jackets. We clogged on a Cerebral Palsy Telethon once at six in the morning. I mean, how many people can say that?

I've been playing field hockey since grade school. It's like 'Varsity Blues' in our town. We believed in pride, tradition, dedication and excellence. That kinda sounds like we were part of a family owned, corn-fed sausage company. Huh.

We weren't just players. We were champions.

*cue 'Lunatic Fringe'*

I was also on the Johnstown High school Bowling Team- What! What! I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. The shirt, the shoes, the bangs- ALL OF IT.



My senior year I worked up the courage to audition for the spring musical Godspell. The Johnstown Leader Herald called it 'a treat for the eyes, ears, soul.' Take that, Zac Effron! IN YOUR FACE, VANESSA HUDGENS!

I got to sing "Learn Your Lessons Well" and was part of the duet "By My Side." I always knew I wanted to be an actress but I never told anybody. This was secret validation for me. Kind of a big turning point. And I've gotten more use out of that cloggin' petticoat, I sway-uh! Eventually, I gradutated.

I went to a small Christian liberal arts school outside of Boston called Gordon College. I majored in Communications. Then I majored in Art. Then I majored in Business. Then I majored in Communications & Education. Then I graduated with a degree in Communications. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Communications.

*sigh*

Then I moved back home and miraculously (because a Communications degree prepares you for NOTHING) got a job at the local phone company. People called to ask me about their bills- or if they lived in Minnesota, how to install service in their windmill! Yuperooney.

Note: The Christmas decorations. Note the homemade advent calendar on the left made of peppermints. Note the empty tray of cookies beneath it. This will all be important later when I actually blog about what I intended to blog about & don't run off on any more 30 year tangents!

Oh, size ten, why did you go away? *sigh*

In my downtime I did a play called "Over the River & Thru The Woods." I was an 80 year old Italian grandmother. Looking back on it, I sounded ENTIRELY Jewish. So did our entirely Jewish cast! Oops.

Once again the Johnstown Leader Herald said and I quote- ahem, "...a 23 year old, having the farthest stretch to play an 80 year old Italian grandmother, Mandi Smith gives a stellar performance." Huh!? Huh!? IN YOUR FACE, MERYL!!!! WHO'S PICKIN' BETWEEN THEIR CHILDREN AT THE NAZI CAMP NOW!!??

I knew since I was little that I wanted to be an actor (once I got over those crazy dreams of being a teacher!). I kept it secret because I didn't think anyone would believe I had the talent or believe I could really move so far away. I didn't have a clue about what to do but I knew The Groundlings were in LA & that they had classes there. My seesters, Darci (Darci Farci Ding Dong) and Jodianne (Jo Dianne- cause that's what it always says on her mail?) also lived in L.A. But after riding on the ginormous publicity from the Glove Theater's rockin' performance of 'Over the River,' I knew NOW was the time. I had to make the big move.

But don't worry, I was very responsible & gave a month's notice. Very good.

No really, size ten... WHY? Waaaah.

And thus concludes the end of MandiCrocker's blog: "Who The Heck Are You, Anyway? Part One." Stay tuned for the next installment when Mandi flies to LA. How does she handle it!? Is she successful!? Find out next time on MandiCrocker! (Wow, this really has nothing to do with what I'm up to- HA!)

AMERICAN IDOL CAKE

Hey all! :) So during the day I work at a university bookstore. On weekends I work at Susina Bakery (a French Italian bakery). I work A LOT. Have I mentioned this 1200 times? Oops. Hee hee. :) But alas, that is not the point of this blog! My point is that my boss at the bookstore commissioned me (I like to use that phrase, it makes me sound fancy!) to do an American Idol themed red velvet cake. YAY!!!

So I started with a little red velvet & cream cheesiness... (Cheesiness? Cheesy-ness? Cheezynass? Je ne sais pas how to spell).

Red Velvet. NUM.

She had a whole design & pretty much said, "This is what I want! An American flag & the AI logo! Can you do this??" I pee my pants & hyperventilate. "Puh-shuh! American flag, American Idol Logo- of course... That's like- no biggie!" I say. Then I rush out of the room & vomit into the mixed paper recycle bin. *sigh*

I always get nervous & pee my pants. Although I LOVE a challenge, it's that rush and insecurity of 'Can-I-Do-This!?'...'You-Never-Went-To-Pastry-School, Amanda!'... 'You-Are-A-Fraud!'

And I only work with buttercream. Fondant tastes like poodely oodely to me, so I pipe everything. And if that's the case I'm going to make, I need to get better at my piping. And I should get better with fondant because although it's the flavor sensation of play-doh, it is very pretty and creative!

Ryan: Let's see what the judges have to say. Paula?"

Paula: "You know, Mandi... you just... I... I-- stop it, Simon! First of all, your apron is beautiful. And you have come- Simon, I'm trying to talk here! You're acting like a six year old that doesn't have his ice cream! You've come so far in this competition and you are NOT a fraud. You really just pulled it off and you know... I just... I love strawberries. Great job!" *Paula cries.*


Randy: "Yo, yo, yo, Dawg... You knocked it out, dawg. I'm not crazy about the piping but you used your pastry bag toward the end and that was slammin', dawg, aiight? I used to work with Martha Stewart and I've chopped a few strawberries with Rachael Ray so..."


Simon: "Your piping just doesn't cut it. In this competition, we're not looking for the county fair blue ribbon. We're looking for real, certified chefs that know how to manipulate a baked good. All I can say is that tonight's performance was like watching a cake decorator at Vons unthaw frozen cheesecake."

*sigh* Freakin' Simon. :)

P.S. Hey! If anybody watches American Idol, my sissy Darci (Darci Farci Ding Dong) does a review every week. Check her out! Working Musician's Review Or feel free to take a listen to her- She's an INCREDIBLE singer and just put out a new CD: Darci RULES! YEAH, SHE DOES!!!

DA SMIFF'S HOMEFRIES
TO TAKE CAMPING!

A few friends & I drove up to Cachuma Lake Campgrounds over the weekend (hence the reason I've been a tad MIA) and can I just say... I LOOOOVE CAMPING!!!! I LOVE IT!!! I mean LOOK at that gorgeous fire!!?? *sigh*

(SIDENOTE: I think I was born to live in a log cabin in Montana. I'd love to wear flannel shirts & boots everyday! I'd live off the fat of the land, far up in the mountains. I'd only go into town once a month to get supplies and salted meat... bring home sweet suckers for the children. Man, I read way too many Janette Oke novels growing up).

I love camping for so many reasons. First, I reeeeeally adore being out in nature. I sooo appreciate the stillness of a crisp morning. At night, it's so beautiful you can see every star ever created in the heavens! Glorious! And then to fall asleep to the sounds of laughter, Def Leppard and beer cans being thrown across the campgrounds. Oh yes, there is a special place in my heart... :)

Second, camping (as with everything it seems!) is incredibly nostalgic to me. It reminds me of trips to Vermont with my parents. Trips where we thought going on a canoe trip in NOVEMBER would be a good idea. (????) In true Griswald's fashion, my mom & I flipped our canoe in the first 15 minutes. We spent the remaining 2 hours & 45 minutes shivering & shaking, making music with our chattering teeth. It was a blast!!! :)

Or there's the time I went winter camping & packed completely WRONG. I wasn't expecting it to be that cold. Whoops. Thankfully, I found this ginormous Santa Claus Cloak in my trunk- HA! (It pays to be an actor sometimes).

I was really cold and grumpy as you can see.

Later, however, I'm rip roarin' ready to go- toasty & happy!

But despite the camping traumas that I may have experienced, you know what we always did get right? THE FOOD. YAY!!!! :) Whether I was camping with friends or family, we always knew how to cook! My dad would make the most amazing breakfasts! We'd have bacon, egg & cheese croissant sandwiches with homemade homefries. DELICIOUS. Perfectly hearty & fattening- the way camping should be! There's nothing like an open grill, lots of meat, big breakfasts... mmmm... CAMP FOOD RULES!!!

So today, in honor of my trip this weekend and my love for camping, I'm gonna give you the 411 for the Smith Family's recipe for homefries to take camping! They're super simple but divine...

INGREDIENTS:

1- 5lb. bag of golden potatoes (or accidentally a 10 lb. bag because you don't know you're own strength?)

3 sticks of butter
2 white onions

1/2 c. vegetable oil

paprika

dash of garlic powdersalt & pepper

1. First things first, let's thank the Creator for the blessed gift that is a potato. "Dear God, thank you for potatoes. They rule. And I like how people call them spuds. Amen."

2. Let's give these bad boys a good choppety chop, shall we? I cut them up pretty small because they'll cook faster over an open fire! Throw them in a big Tupperware container.

3. Chop up your unjun. (That's camping-speak for 'onion.')

4. Cut up the 3 sticks of butter into chunks. Add both the unjuns & the butter into the Tupperware bowl.

5. Sprinkle about 1-2 Tablespoons of paprika over the potatoes.

Mmmmm... Paprika. One of the most fun words ever created!!! Say it with me, "Paprika!"

7. Finally, drizzle the 1/2 cup of vegetable oil over the top, add a ton of pepper & salt, the dash of garlic powder and give it a fantastic stir!

8. Put the lid on the Tupperware and stick it in the cooler. At the campsite, cook 'em up in a cast iron skillet til they're nice & crispy. Mmmm... soooo good!!! And who's that pretty (aka: slimy, greasy, dirty, grimy) girl!? It's ME! Gross. :)

CELEBRATING THE BIG 100!!!

That's right, ladies & germs. Today is the official date, the accomplishment of exactly 100 profile views!!!! AHHHH!!!! Can you believe it!? What a momentous occasion!!! What a joy... It has been SUCH a wild ride.

When I started MandiCrocker just two & half weeks ago I wasn't sure what the response would be. Would I have readers? The energy & support I needed to continue on a daily basis? Were there enough hours in the day to really create what I wanted to?

But I have to say... the response has just been OVERWHELMING. This humble little blog, an egg of hope if you will... has cracked open its shell & spread its' wings to become a beautiful swan-like technological creation. And I couldn't have done it without you. And I thank you for that. Thank YOU.

So please join me in celebration, knowing that about 50-70 of these profile views had nothing to do with me at all double checking my postings or layouts, fixing spelling errors or making sure that darned slideshow was working in the top right hand corner. NO! These views are because of YOU. My dear 100 readers from Ireland to Uganda! Pittsburgh to Pakistan! People I've never met before in my life... 100 strangers. I know this. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope I can continue to make you proud. Thank you for loving me.

And here's to another amazingly successful 2 & 1/2 weeks!!!

Love,
MandiCrocker ;)

Mini Donuts, Num!

Ever since I was a wee lass, my family & I have been making French Breakfast Puffs. They're buttery, sugary, cinnamony goodness that, in the words of Goldie Hawn in 'Overboard,' "burst in your mouth at precisely the right moment!" They've always been a huge hit.

Well, I brought some in to work the other day & my co-worker, Johnboy, loved them so much he wanted to share the joy of said puffs and order some for his mommy for Mother's Day. He said they were killer and that the flavor of the FBPs (yeah, you know me!) reminded him of the inside of a Van De Camp's crumb donut without the crumbs. What I heard was, "These are good. But a Van De Camp's crumb donut would be so much better. By the way, you suck."


CHALLENGE. Can I turn these puffs into mini donuts? Can I make the mini donuts into crumb mini donuts? Can I recreate the taste of joy from Johnboy's childhood!? All I knew was that a challenge had presented itself to me. And as a Johnstown Field Hockey Champion, I knew what I had to do. IT WAS TIME TO MAKE THE DONUTS!!! :)

So here's our ingredients for making three kinds of donuts (cinnamon & sugar, powdered and crumb donuts):


3 cups flour
3 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
2 & 1/2 cups sugar
2/3 cup shortening (Crisco)
2 eggs
1 & 1/2 cups milk
3 tsp cinnamon
2 & 1/2 sticks butter (1 & 1/4 cups)
2 cup confectioner's sugar
generous sprinkle of brown sugar


1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.


Lightly grease mini donut pans or mini muffin pans.

To the right is a picture of mini donut pan. Mini anything is CUTE! :)




2. In a large bowl whisk together flour, baking power, salt and nutmeg. Set aside.
















3. In a different bowl, cream together only 1 cup of sugar and shortening. Then add eggs and mix again. Watch Windy the Mixer fly!



Ooooooh!












4. Add flour mixture & only 1 cup of milk alternately to creamed mixture, beating well after each addition.














5. If you use mini donut pans, it may be easier to fill a pastry bag with dough. About 2 or 3 times around with the pastry bag, fills the cup about 2/3 of the way full. And that's where ya wanna be!























Same with a mini muffin pan!















6. Bake for about 8 minutes.



7. While the muffins cool, get started on making your crumbs! Melt a 1/4 cup of butter and a generous sprinkling of brown sugar in a pan.



8. Crumble up about 5-6 muffins or mini donuts.




Then throw 'em in a pan. Stir and saute until the crumbs are golden and carmelized into crunchy bits. Not to self: You can also use some coconut in there if you like that. Johnboy said Van De Crap's don't use coconut in their crumb donuts so I didn't. *rolls eyes*


Be sure to not let them overcook as I did on my first try! Whoops. I call the below picture "Heavely Crunchy Bits Versus Satan's Crispy Bits." *sigh* By the way, Satan's Crispy Bits smell horrid!!!


9. For cinnamon sugar donuts, mix together the remaining 1 & 1/2 cups of sugar and the 3 tsp cinnamon. Put in a bowl & set aside.

For crumb & powdered donuts we need some glaze. Take one cup of confectioner's sugar and the remaining 1/2 cup of milk. Stir like crazy until well mixed. Set aside.

Melt 2 sticks of butter in a bowl & set aside.

Also put the remaining cup of powdered sugar in a bowl. (A ziplock bag works well too if you wanna shake 'n' bake your way to powdered perfection!

10. Once you've got your set-up ready like I've done here. You want to get started!


For cinnamon sugar donuts. Roll a mini muffin or donut in the butter generously and then throughly coat with the cinnamon sugar mixture. Super easy! Buttery goodness, I tell you... Mmm...

For powdered donuts, dip in the melted butter, shaking off the excess. It'll be messy but that's part of the fun! Then throw your donut in the powdered sugar & mix it around until it's thoroughly coated. If there are wet spots, just throw it in again! I'm sure there is an easier way to do these but this is what I've come up with. Sometimes I'd dip the donut in the butter, then in the glaze and THEN in the powdered sugar just for kicks! Wahooey!

For crumb donuts, dip the donut in the butter & then in the glaze, shaking of the excess. Then throw the donut in the crumbs. If the crumbs don't stick then your glaze is probably a little too watery. If that's the case, just add a little more powdered sugar. Those crumbs can be a little high maintenance regardless!

But you know what? Soooooooooooooo worth it. Holy yum, Batman!!! :)


Even Johnboy approved, "You're a genius. These are exactly how I remember them." Why thank you, Johnboy. *cough, cough* It was nothing. ;)