RIP Christmas, Hello Valentine's Day!

The holidays are over, little lambs.  They are.  While in my heart, I believe that everyday is Christmas... it's time to take down the stockings and the Christmas cards... and the Squishin' Grapes Lucy ornament that Mills Vanills got for me.

As you can see, our beloved tree, Eduardo, is on his last legs.  If you even breathe on his branches the wrong way, all of his cilia fall off.  Very sad.  Our bulbs just keep dropping because poor Eduardo is so fragile.  You should see the pile of green needle death on our floor.  *sigh*

Veronica is in Cali for two weeks, BF is out of town this weekend, newcomer Chef Ragusa is out of town... I'm forced to take action on this.  I have nothing else to do.  The undoing of Christmas rests solely on my shoulders.  *shudders*

Thankfully Valentine's Day is right around the corner and that excites me. I've already gotten a head start!  My friend Candy asked me to do some Valentine's Day-esque cookies for her mom for her birthday.

Single or not, I've always celebrated Valentine's Day.  I hate the commercialism.  Looooooove the romanticism. *swoon, swoon* I love the idea of telling the people in your life how much you love and care about them, taking the time out of your day to make them feel special.  Even if it's, "Hey, weirdo.  You're all right with me."  (That card is going to my sister, Jo!)

Carl from Philadelphia writes:

"But Mandi, shouldn't you tell the people in your life you love them all the time? Why does there need to be this huge commercial holiday to buy stupid stuffed bears and chocolates and whatever else that people don't need.  It's all the pressure to do the right things and whatever you come up with it's always wrong! It's always wrong!!!!!??? WROOOONGGG!!!???"

Carl?  Handsome?  Lovemuffin?  Deep breath, Tiger.  Aaaaaand did you not hear a word I said!!??  Commercialism?  Lame.  Romanticism, true love- whether romantic or not?  Awesomeness.  And I'm just gonna go out on an Eduardo limb & say I'm pretty sure you're probably dating a monster.  If she came with a grocery list of demands for Valentine's Day, I'd trade her in.  And ugh... think about yoga. You've got some anger.

Yes, I think people should tell each other every day that they're loved and appreciated.  But sometimes we get lazy and forget.  We forget to see the person in front of us for who they are rather than for who they're not. 

Instead we point fingers & begin writing our own lists of circumstances and wrong-doings and keep them tucked away in a bitter, hurt, sad, angry, resentful darkened heart.  It festers.  There are maggots... 

...Then your heart explodes one day out of your mouth & the person in front of you is like, 'I just asked if you wanted an egg roll with your Orange Chicken?'   And then you apologize, pay the guy at Panda Express and cry in your car.

So, long story short... I DO love Valentine's Day.  And being single a majority of my life I have every reason not to!  Once I got over the torment of my highschool and college youth and the cute boy that was never on my arm (*wah, wah, angst, angst, cue REM Everybody Hurts*) and instead made a concerted effort to make it about love in general, I began to have really great Valentine's Days- the best of my life!!!  So don't throw it away... :)

Which is why I was super excited to do these cookies for Candy's mom... Spreading the love like royal icing, baby.  ;)

And for you lovebirds that ARE attached this year...

Be kind to each other.  In every way.

Special S'Mores treats are being kind to yourself.  :)

Chef Ragusa is an avid foodie & has this Facebook folder full of food that's he's tried.  One of the desserts had a 'graham cracker pastry dough.'  Whaaaaaat???  Whaaaaat???  Who comes up with this stuff?  I'm better at replication than I am with imagination.  I chalk it up to limited food experiences growing up...

But this got me thinking.

What would happen if you folded graham cracker up in pastry dough...added some pastry cream...

...added some chocolate and mini marshmallows...

...sprinkled the top with cinnamon and graham cracker crumbs...

 ...brushed the dough with an egg wash and baked it on 425 until golden brown?

Oooey, gooey delicious S'Mores heaven.

I can't even tell you.

It's like camping in a mansion.

Or something.

UGH.  Reeeeeally good.

Happy Valentine's Day to MEEEE.  :) :) :)

Your lovebird,

MandiQuacker (okay, I'm a loveduck)

New Year's Intention: Balance

I have been SO BLESSED.  When I think about the friends I've had throughout my life I've consistently been gifted with really wonderful, loving, generous quality people.  And it is... SUCH a gift.  In L.A., and hate me because I know EXACTLY how this sounds and what it means... I was actually overwhelmed with the number of people to keep up with.  I had a slew of friends that loved & adored me, encouraged me, supported me, stroked my ego, made me handmade things, listened to me, loved me unconditionally, made me laugh the deepest belly laughs of my life, gave me the most soul-filling hugs, fed me in more ways than 80... Just freaking BLESSED.  LOVE BARF BLESSINGS that would render me speechless if I wasn't writing a blog.  :)

And it's why Chicago is so weird sometimes.  I have a few close friends here, that I know God specifically handpicked as the ones to help me survive last year (WELL DONE, BIG GUY!),  that are equally as much the sh*t.  And I know that is more than most people have so that is NOT a complaint.  But for Little Miss Social Butterfly over here, I am most certainly not used to this down time.  And it's incredibly evident this is one of the many reasons I had to move here-- to force myself to really 'be with me.'  *cue Mr. Big*  HA!  (I'm a dork).

Through various life situations & experiences over the past six months, BF, being the true friend she is, has asked me some very important, oftentimes BRUTAL questions about the love I have for myself.  I thank God for those AWFUL, AWFUL QUESTIONS and for my BF, that I would club to death with my slow cooker if I didn't love her so much for being right.  JUST AWFUL QUESTIONS!  She sucks rainbows!!!  I love her sooo much I want to kill her with a shovel of love and bury her in vegan marshmallow clouds forever!!!  (Marshmallow clouds are delicious...)

What I'm discovering (reason # 1,483 why I moved to Chicago)... is that I needed to be removed from that many loving people to look in the mirror and really believe that love for myself on my own.  BARF, GAG, CRY, SPEW... I know.  In my heart I've always known that moving to Chicago was for much more than a relationship.  I think that's the only reason I was okay with saying goodbye to so many wonderful people.  (Although fo reals-- what's a goodbye?  My gurrrrls are always here and I'm sharing the same belly laughs with my improv friends that I always have.  It's just in spirit... but I do feel it).  :)

So, my intention for this New Year is BALANCE.  My past would show that I've been a panic stricken work horse, a broken and tired social butterfly, an overwhelmed mass production baker... And it made me an exhausted & bitter employee, an underwhelming friend and an unpassionate artist. And I just ain't doin' it no more.  'It's not allowed.' 

Balance is now a part of my life and I've kind of put it into three areas:  Work, Pleasure, and Spirituality.  I'm already feeling the effects of this change in such a positive way, it's really cool.  :)

WORK:  I am out of a job.  Big deal.  In the past I would have made this (and did on a number of occasions!) a huge stress and I'd be giving myself brain cancer trying to figure out how to fix it, enjoying ZERO part of my life until I had a job.  Well guess what, homedawgs, homegurrrrrl ain't stressing about it no more.  It's going to fix itself when it's darn good & ready. There's no amount of worry that is going to help the situation and quite frankly, I'm so NOT worried it's almost laughable.  I have sooo much faith and belief about the job that's coming into my life, or the business I'm starting (as I'm pursuing those avenues as well) that I'm just not worried!?  I've had a really wonderful couple of weeks!  So everyday I send out my resumes and when I'm done, I stop.  The end.  And I work on wholesale prices or labels, etc.   Interesting factoid:  Since I've made an effort to be aware of the balance in my life, I actually get phone calls about interviews for quality jobs-- not the minimum wage-esque stuff my past believed I was only worth.  VERY cool.  :) 

PLEASURE:  My mantra for this area is 'Be kind to yourself.'  Which, to me, means showing myself ONLY respect and love in a variety of ways.  Understanding the Italian expression 'dolce far niente'-- the sweetness of doing nothing.  *swoooon, swoooon*  Spending time with myself without thinking, without worrying about lists, without the clutter, without talking to myself because hellooo I can be narcisstic and long-winded! It's about getting really wonderful sleep, rest and daily rejuvenation.  It's about making myself a priority and enjoying my worth by knowing I am whole and complete. Treating myself to nice things... dinners, glasses of wine, coffee...  Quality rather than quantity.  Pleasure rather than quick fix highs.  It's sexy as hell, I'll tell ya what.  :)

SPIRITUALITY:  Making my connection with God a priority through meditation and gratitude.  Going to services at Bodhi or finding an open church to sit in stillness or pray (which is how I accidentally went to mass last week-ha!).  Making time to experience truth no matter where I find it.  Making the time to be aware- Knowing on a daily basis where I'm at and planning accordingly based on what I need.  Saying yes or no to friends when I want to.  Living honestly with intention and integrity. To know that the negative thoughts I tell myself I'm telling to God  and instead telling myself the beautiful things I would tell God.  Seeing beautiful things in myself I know of God... Because He revels in His creation and we're made in His image.

An example of this balance in a day?  Last week, I went to an interview (work), I then got lost in the city and marveled at the holiday festivities of this awesome city and just enjoyed it (pleasure), went to a cathedral downtown and just sat in stillness and prayed (spirituality), took myself to Friends Sushi and even splurged on a glass of plum wine (pleasure), came home and sent out resumes (work).  The most beautiful day in the entire world.  I LOVE living my life this way!!!  And I know it's easy to say & do now while I have no job but I really don't think much will change regardless.  It's having the awareness (which I didn't make time for before) and living purposefully with what you discover.  I know when the money runs out, and my feelings 'stop being polite & start getting real,' I'll REALLY have to practice this balance.  But I trust myself and this self-awareness, I do.

Anywhoozle, please don't get your trousers in a bunch about what I'm sharing here.  I'm not putting (which I initally wrote as 'pudding'- ha!) myself on any kind of spiritual, 'look at me' pedestal.  When I write these blogs it's as an affirmation to myself, a reminder of what I want and am bringing into my life.  At some point, as I further develop this love for myself, I suppose I won't care about your trousers bunching.  But for now... I suppose I kinda do.  I'm just a normal gal like everybody else that wants to make a difference although I've always been a bit ambitious in the 'I want it all' department.  :)

By the way... It's funny I had completely forgotten and was smacked in the face with it this week:   'Amanda' means worthy of love. 

BAHAHAHAAA!!!  Life is so funny...

Blessings to all!  And I promise new food porn is coming!  I'm itching to do something new!! In the meantime, here are two of my favorite recipes I'm making this week!

'Game Day' Chili  (I'm makin' pretzel bread, too!) and Chicken Tikka Masala.

Love, Love, Love,
MandiC.

Christmas Week & Cheesecake Recipe

Despite the craziness of the season, it really was a beautiful Christmas.  Knowing that I was again going to be away from my L.A. friends & family, knowing that V was going to Cali for nine days, knowing that I had no job to get to... I was very aware that I was going to be very alone this holiday season.

Now hold up, Argentina... I'm not looking for tears or pity here. I had a few offers of places to go and I knew BF was in town so its not like I was crying myself to sleep at night.  I've actually been craving downtime like nobody's business and I just knew that God had me here for a reason. 

One of those reasons being:  The lesson of simplicity.  In L.A. the holidays were always crazy.  Feeding people, working 800 hours, being overwhelmed... It was a lot.  I made it a lot.  This year I've had no choice through Thanksgiving or Christmas to do anything but just be.  BF and I had a really lovely Thanksgiving.  We're both in the same 'life spot.'  We bring zero stress to the table-- 'It's not allowed.'  And it's been really, really lovely!!!

So here's how the week progressed...  :)

It was my first 'White Christmas' in 12,000 years.

I could just die right now. :) :) :)

***Weird random factoid: 'Close Encounters' is playing on my computer right now. My Itunes music list is sooo random, lol... John Williams, though? Genius!!! Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...

I made a Chocolate Orange cake for Dr. Beth. Lots of December birthdays at the lab!  Including Dr. Beth!!!

HAPPY DECEMBER 25TH BIRTHDAY TO DR. BETH!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU, MY FRIEND!!!  :)  :)  :)

I had an interview Friday morning that got postponed to Monday (today) but only after I had arrived.  (HA!) So instead I got to enjoy the city!  I walked to Caribou Coffee, had some sugary delicious mint white chocolate coffee Christmas holiday in my mouth (I know, Sean- I know) and reflected on what I wanted to bring into 2011. It was PERFECT.

Then I walked all over the city.  And look!  It's Macy's.  :)

I love that the big department stores still do stuff like this.

It's sooo pretty and just makes the city look so magical.  :)

***Itunes update:  'That's When I'll Stop Loving You'- N'Sync. WOOOOOOW.

And loooook at these little shmoos in their red coats & black hats!!!

How adorable!!  I want a red coat & black hat!!!  :)

Then I did some holiday baking for my friend Sean's firestation.

TOTALLY made my Christmas to bake for these guys. 

:)  :)  :)

Chocolate Peppermint Oreo Cupcakes 

Mini pumpkin tarts.

At Susina Bakery they used to do these delicious tarts called 'Apple Fantes.'  It was pastry dough, pastry cream and a few slice of apple.  I basically did the same thing except I diced my apple and made mine with a crumble topping. Crumble topping girl right here!  *raises hand* 

And I'm always looking for ways to raise the ante and/or make it more fattening!

I made some Peanut Butter Marshmallow Brownies, Go Nuts Brownies and Oatmeal Carmelita Bars as well. 

Then I think the favorite part of my YEAR happened:

Bacon Cheddar Chive Scones

The bakery I got fired from made Cheddar Chive Scones.

They were well and good but I knew how to make them better.

BACON, B*TCHES.  ;)

I could take a bath in these.

It's a 'Bathtub Food,' if you will.

Then it was Christmas morning. I decided it was going to be all about 'Dolce Far Niente' as talked about in Eat, Pray, Love. The sweetness of doing nothing.

I woke up and lazily made myself a vanilla latte and some Doughnut Muffins.

There was no panic about dinner.

No set time BF was coming over.

No stress.Again, 'It's not allowed.'

***This is the part of the show where Ipod, Dingy Dongy and Tim laugh collectively at the stress I put myself under cooking for everyone at the holidays back in L.A and just HOW DIFFERENT this year was.  In the words of John Connor, 'Are we learning yet?'  :)  ***

Then I opened my 'Christmas winnings.'

LOOK AT THIS FREAKING POSTCARD!!!

ARE THEY NOT THE FREAKIN' CUTEST PEOPLE

YOU'VE EVER SEEN!!!???  :)  :)  :)

Marie. Chris. Mess.

Merry Christmas.

They live thousands of miles away & they STILL make my day.

Chris is from Maine so OF COURSE they sent me this:

A FREAKIN' LOBSTER COOKIE CUTTER!!!!

Now I have no idea when the heck Lobster Day is but I tell you what...

I'LL BE READY.

(By the way, you flip that lobster around & it looks like... well, not like a lobster. It was a confusing 30 seconds of Bachelorette Party and 'Marie, what did you SEND me!!???' there for a moment. Lol... NICE.)

BF bought me some wonderful, delicious things to use as a way to pamper myself and just 'be with me.'  We've been having discussions on self-esteem & what it means to really love yourself.

Right as I was thinking, 'How DO you fall in love with yourself?  I'll have to ask BF what her thoughts are.' I opened Bf's gift.  That Bf...

DAD.  SLOW COOKER.

YEEEEEEEEES!!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!

WITH cookbook included.

AND it's a SOUTHERN LIVING cookbook.

Southern Living is THE SH*T of the online recipe world let me tell you.

EXCITED.

After skype-ing with my seesters (and making sure to annoy them as only I can with my annual rendition of 'Dominique the Donkey'),  I made a cheesecake with my friend's recipe.

(YOU RULE, KURT!  Thank you!!!)  :)

Big Toe helped!

Not for too long, though.  Once he realized there were snacks he totally petered out. We split the Christmas Heineken.  (Green bottle= Christmas)

***Itunes Update:  Oooh, Stereophonics 'Dakota' playing now... See?  Random.

HEY, IT'S CHEESECAKE!!!

It's super light and delicious!

Makes you feel like you're eating dreamy cheese clouds.

I love dreamy cheese clouds.

And there is  A LOT of dreamy cheese cloud left.

I need more friends!!!

Then BF came over later, we stuffed our pieholes with vegan fare and watched 'Love Actually.'  (I HATE UNCLE JAMIE!!!) During which time, I went into sugar coma, felt 800% drunk and crashed on the couch while she did the dishes.  I seriously could not move.  SHE DID MY DISHES WHILE I PASSED OUT ON MY COUCH!!!  She's the sh*t, I'm telling you what.   Someone send her a lobster cutter!!!!

So, boys and girls... *sigh*  It was a lovely, relaxing, wonderful and blessed day. :)  I truly hope your Christmas was equally as joyful!!! 

From Windy The Mixer, Big Toe and myself...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Love,

Mandi

Kurt's Amazing Fluffy Cloud Cheesecake

by:  Amazing Kurt in his own words!

Crust: (I usually just follow the recipe on any box of Graham Cracker Crumbs, but what I usually do is..)

1-1/2 c Graham Cracker Crumbs
1/4 c sugar (I sometimes cut it to 2 T)
1/3 c melted butter
1 t Cinnamon

Combine until everything is moist, and then press this to cover the bottom and lower 1-1/2" of a 9" Greased Spring form pan. (I've taken to lining the pan with Aluminum foil just in case the pan leaks) I've had mixed results baking the crust before adding the filling, but usually just cook it enough to set it.

**Mandi's thoughts:  I didn't prebake the crust for ten minutes like some cheesecake recipes call for.  I just pressed it into the bottom & then added the filling on top.  Turned out perfect!

Filling: (make sure all of the ingredients are room temp)
3- 8oz Pkgs Cream Cheese
1- 16 oz Sour Cream
1-1/4 c sugar
6- eggs, separated (you will only need 3 egg whites)
1 t Vanilla Extract
2 T Fresh Lemon Juice
1/3 c All Purpose Flour (sifted)

**Mandi's thoughts:  It still tastes wonderful without the flour that you might forget to add... *cough*

(I've heard that over mixing can cause the cheesecake to "crack" (have faults in the surface) when it cools. For me it "cracks" either way, but it cracks less if I mix it at bare minimum, so you might want to experiment)
Mix cream cheese and sour cream until smooth, then add sugar. Add egg yolks, one at a time until combined. Add vanilla and lemon juice, and then the flour until everything is well mixed. Finally, beat the 3 egg whites into soft peaks and fold into the batter. (There is no need to be gentle folding the whites in. This isn't a souffle, you just want it to lighten up the cake so it doesn't become a brick.)

Pour the batter into Spring form pan with crust, and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. After 1 hour, turn the oven off, crack the oven door, and let it sit in a cooling oven for another hour (minimum, although I usually let it sit for 2) then remove cake and put it in the refrigerator overnight. Viola!

Tips:

I usually place the spring form pan inside a roasting pan while it bakes, but NOT in a water bath. This catches anything that might leak out, but I find that it kind of buffers the cake as well. Also, you might try running a knife between the cake and pan after the initial 1 hour cooking, so that the walls don't stick, leaving you with a concave cake. I usually don't do the knife thing because I'm lazy and don't often have that problem with the cake, but I'll leave it up to you.)


**Mandi's thoughts:  I did use a water bath and it turned out great.  So either way works!  :)

Christkindl Market and More Orders!

My friend Cole recently asked why on earth I'm staying in Chicago.  And I can't remember what I said because I was ridiculously tired.  It probably sounded something like, "Egggh, shicagos gravy for m'cakes biznass cause people eeee hurrr."   

But when I'm not punch drunk there are real, live legitimate reasons why I adore this city.  Since I left upstate New York, Chicago is the first place that's felt like home.  Aside from, of course, the feeling of home found in my amazing friends and family in L.A.  But truth is, L.A. just didn't feed my soul.  Chicago, on the other hand, feeds me lots!  ;)

Here's a few reasons off the top of my head as to why Chicago & I are bossom buddies.  Hopefully this will allow for the anger to dissiapate and the acceptance to begin...  ;)

Chicago has changing seasons.  People eat here and there are 126,000,000 amazing restaurants. Public transportation is AWESOME.  Hellooo, While You Were Sleeping was filmed here?  I loooove the romanticism of winter-- twinkly lights on Michigan Avenue, grabbing hot chocolate in scarves, hats and mittens.  We have White Christmases here-- you don't even have to dream about them, Rosemary & Bing!  The lake which is a cold, icy, spray-thrashing monster these days is powerful and gorgeous.  Giordano's Pizza. Garrett's Popcorn.  It's a large city broken up into communities so it never feels overwhelming to me.  There's a pub on every corner and for whatever reason I'm encouraged by that.  Guys appreciate normal girls here (L.A. is a total herpes induced meat market).  Speaking of, there are GUYS here!  They don't wear fedoras and carry little dogs.  They dress like men.  And finally, though I could go on forever about my love for this city, there are soooo many free things to do such as...

THE CHRISTKINDLMARKET!!!  :)  :)  :)

It's in Daley Plaza for the month of December from 11am-8pm.   German vendors come on over to the States and sell nutcrackers and ornaments and delicious German fare!  See all the white tents & shops?  :)

And there's the TREE!!!  :)  :)  :)

It's like Solvang!  Except German!  And without windmills and Paul Giamatti!!!

It's little Christmas 'willages!!'

I didn't partake of the DELICIOUS smelling baked apples though they looked covered in donut batter!!

But I did eat a Brat with sauerkraut.

And then I got German Potatoes.

After the brat, the german guy at the counter laughed & said, "Oh, you came back!"  And I said, "YEAH, I DID!!!"

And for the love of small children in Uganda... warm candied nuts.

CARAMEL CASHEWS!  AMARETTO CASHEWS!!!

I took some for the road. I did.

I'm not gonna lie.

Oink, oink, folks. 

Oink, oink!

And then I got some mulled grape cider. 

GRAPE CIDER IS WARM & DELICIOUS.

:)  :)  :)

And look at the freakin' cute boot it comes in!!!!

Blurry picture... But ain't it MAGICAL!!???  :)

And they had a nativity for da baby Jesus.

And then I left cause it was FREAKIN' COLD!  :)

On my way home, teeth chattering,  I passed a McDonald's with this sign in the window.  Just a thought... but they maaaay want to change their marketing campaign.

Then I got home and remembered my warm nuts.

(Heh heh).

What's with the wrapping!?

Is it a Nutty Buddy ice cream bar!!???

IS IT, Charlie Brown!!???

No!!  It's freaking warm, crunchy & delicious nuts.

Yeah, I said it!

Such a treat this Chicagoland place...

*sigh*

And then I had another order!

Snowflake sugar cookies...

More Christmas sugar cookies...

(Not pictured here: Coconut Chocolates & Mexican Wedding Cookies).

A ginormous half-sheet brick of Butterscotch Blondies.

They're gooey deliciousness.

Dingy Dongy's favorite!!!  :) :)  :)

And finally... I just learned that Christmas is NEXT WEEK.

Holy mistletoe, Batman!!! When did THAT happen!!???

*sigh*

Ah, well. At least I'm enjoying the festivities!

Like family members need presents anyway... psssh.

Dreamy Christmas wishes in ceramic boots,

MandiCrocker