GERMAN CHOCOLATE CAKE
I'm calling this cake 'Bittersweet Chicago' because I want to, darn it! This isn't 'Chicago-style' or 'deep dish' German Chocolate cake (mmm, deep dish German Chocolate...note to self!) I'm calling it Chicago cause I'm IN Chicago and it's currently bittersweet.
The Sweet Lovin' Man had his huuuuuuge CFA exam on Saturday. He's been studying soooo hard for the past six months and TOTALLY rocked it out. YAY!!! But this exam is a total "Martha Focker" if you will & it's taken sooo much out of him. So I flew out to Chicago to surprise him once it was over and to give him lots & lots of needed lovey dovey pets & scratches.
Did I mention how handsome he his???
We had the BEST weekend and it's bittersweet because I have to say goodbye to him in a few hours.
Again, I say, 'Wah.' :(
Long distance sucks rusty hosewater. You know what doesn't? German Chocolate Cake.
Let's get to it, shall we? :)
For the cake:
1 Box of German Chocolate or Devil's Food Cake Mix*
3 large eggs
1/2 cup of oil (or Ol' as I like to call it)
1 1/4 cup of water
*Yeah, I just made a box cake. Sue me.
For the filling:
1 cup of heavy cream
1 cup of sugar
3 large eggs
3 ounces of butter, cut into small pieces*
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup pecans, toasted & finely chopped
1 1/3 cups unsweetened coconut, toasted
*A stick of butter is 4 ounces, so it's about 3/4 of a stick of butter! I know, I know... those crazy ounces. Why would I do that to you? Because I'm sad, darn it, and projecting!!!
For the syrup:
1 cup of water
3/4 cup of sugar
2 tablespoons of dark rum (or whatever your Favorite Russian Clerk at the liquor store gives you. "Try. You like.")
8 ounces bittersweet or semi-sweet chocolate, chopped
2 tblsp light corn syrup
1 & 1/2 ounces of unsalted butter*
1 cup of heavy cream
*Again, a stick of butter is 4 ounces. So you're gonna have to do the math. It's too early.
Alrighty, little lambs. First, we're gonna bake our box cake. You mix up the above ingredients, grease your 2- 9 inch cake pans, dump the mixture into the pans & bake. Read the box. Done & done. I could do this step by step, but who's got the time?
*puts on slick 'Jerry Maguire' sunglasses & begins making phonecalls*
Let's toast the coconut & pecans.
Mmm, I LOVE coconut. "You put dee lime in dee coconut..."
And chop up your pecans.
Weigh in. Pe-cawns or pe-cans?
Spread both out in a single layer on baking sheets.
Toast at 350 for about 10 minutes. Stirring halfway through.
The pecawns/pecans may only need 5-7 minutes. They burn easily so keep in mind your only toasting them until they give off a wonderful pecawn/pecan aroma!
Put the 3 ounces of butter, salt, toasted coconut & pecawn/pecan pieces in a large bowl.
In a medium saucepan, mix the cream, sugar & egg yolks.
Heat the cream mixture & cook, stirring constantly until the mixture begins to thicken and coat the spoon. If you have a handy thermometer, it should say 170 degrees. I don't. So whatevs. Whatevs, I say!! :(
Poor the custardy deliciousness immediately into & over & all around the pecawn/pecan coconut mixture. Stir until the butter is melted. Let cool to room temperature.
I have to tell you, homemade German Chocolate filling in one of the best experiences on the planet. It's soooo sweet. Almost as sweet as The Sweet Lovin' Man. Wah. :(
This was the pouring.
This was the stirring.
And this is the tasting.
What? A little (or a lot) of quality control never killed anybody!
Now it's time to make the icing. I LOVED this huge honkin' Wonka-esque bar I found at Trader Joe's. How fun!
Hello, friend... Nom, nom, nom!
Place 8 ounces of chopped chocolate in a bowl with the corn syrup and 1 & 1/2 ounces of butter. Hope you guys did the math right! (You know who's good at math? The Sweet Lovin'-- oh, nevermind. *sigh*)
Heat the cream until it just begins to boil.
Remove from heat & pour over chocolate mixture.
This picture reminds me of one of those salad dressing commercials where they play the vibrant western music. Splash! Splash!
Let stand for one minute. You can do 60 jumping jacks. Or if you're just about to leave your boyfriend, you can eat the remainder of the 16 ounce chocolate bar you bought. Which should take about 30 seconds.
From there, you can do 30 jumping jacks or you can open the freezer & check out the ice cream situation.
Once your minute is up, pull yourself together. You'll need all of your strength to stir & stir & stir. There's no crying in Bittersweet Chicago German Chocolate Cake!!!
Once it's room temperature & smooth, contemplate drowning self in bowl of chocolate.
Don't. Cause you're a Johnstown Field Hockey Champion & Johnstown Field Hockey Champions know that hard circumstances build character. And Johnstown Field Hockey Champions are all about character!!!
Hey! Guess what? My chocolate was too liquidy. I didn't let it come to a boil cause I'm what the French call, "stupid." So I just threw in some powdered sugar. And vway-ol-ay!
Once your cake is cool, flip it over onto a cake board or a plate.
Next we're gonna make our syrup. I don't have pictures for this. I was too busy being sad.
Actually, I DO have pictures for this, but they're in California & I forgot to send them to myself. Whoops.
So here's what you do:
In a small saucepan, heat the sugar & water on med-high heat until the sugar has melted. Remove from heat & stir in the rum.
THAT'S CRAZY! HOWEVER WILL YOU DO IT WITHOUT THE PICTURES!!??
Sadness= MandiCrocker gets mean!!!
Then brush the syrup liqueur onto the surface of the cake. Because this is a box cake, it's pretty porous. If yours is not, feel free to poke a bunch of holes in the top with a fork. Besides, it feels good!
Let the syrup sink in a bit. Num.
Now spread a thin layer of icing on the top. Like so. Then do a step ball change.
Next, put a giant glop of the coconut pecawn/pecan mixture on the top. OH STINKIN' YUM. YUM. YUM. YUM.
Awww, man! I keep deleting my pictures on accident. Please read this again on Wednesday will you? I'll add them when I get home. I'd hate for you to miss out on any deliciousness! Especially when I'm already sad!
Double wah. :(
Next you're going to take the other cake layer & brush it with liquer as well. Except you're going to flip it over & brush the- *cough, cough* -the bottom of it. It's okay. It may seem a little uncomfortable at first, but it's necessary & over in a jiff!
Put the cake on the top of the other. Like so. Step ball change.
Begin to ice. Mmmmmm... This ALMOST makes me feel better.
On the top you're going to spread out the remaining pecawn/pecan goodness, leaving about an inch on the sides. Decorate with rosettes. Or whatever, right? Who is this for, the Queen of England!???
Like so. Ball change.
Honestly, you could just throw the cake in a large bowl. Dump the coconut on top of it. Dump the icing on top of it & dig in. It's SOOOO STINKIN' GOOD. But it's only good to do that when you're sad. Cause that's the only time it's calorie-free.
Just kidding, honey!
He's all "Please tell me you're not really going to eat an entire cake."
Puh-shuh!!! I would NEVER.
(Nom, nom, nom).
I'm gonna miss you, honey.
I already do.