'CATERING'

*Darci Monet's CD Release Party*

Last night was my beloved seester's CD Release Party. Her new album is called 'Fusion.' It's half Darci rock chick & half Darci slit your wrists ballads.

She's AMAZING.

She totally rocked it out last night. You can actually watch part of her performance at the bottom of this blog. And please do!!! You won't be sorry. There's no good TV on right now anyway.

(I can hear my Joss Whedon, Tarrantino-lovin', Wheel of Time readin' roommate say "Umm, hello? True Blood!" Okay, okay... Fine, Kell. True Blood. You can stop flipping me off now! And I'm hiding the knives).

Anyway, Darc hired me to cater her party and that was exciting because I LOVE catering. You get to do all sorts of different varieties! It's like doing holiday platters! I think more than I love to bake, I actually enjoy putting together the beautifully finished product the most. There's something about taking 2 or 3 or 85 different kinds of cookies & making them look beautiful for a party or an event. I get really excited!! I lurve it. :)

Carol from Dayton has a question. She says, "Woah, Mandi. I just caught on to the reality of the word catering. That means you have a business. What's that about? And by the way you look really thin. And smart."

Oh, thank you for your inquiry, Carol.

You're too too kind.

And I have been working out. *winks*

But to answer your question, I don't technically have a business. Like many people, I've been 'catering' and making birthday cakes for friends, family and coworkers for years now. Because I've had about 12,000 jobs those coworkers add up! So I get a lot of "orders."

(That's funny. The first time I typed 'orders' it came out 'odors.' HA! That's going to keep me giggling all night. Moving on... giggle, giggle...)

For these 'odors'-- I mean, 'orders'... I have 'suggested donations.' It keeps me busy, keeps me inspired and helps me stay professional. By the end of August, I plan to have an online business up and running called 'MandiCakes.' Or by September. Obviously, I'm an eeeensy weeeeensy bit behind. Tee hee hee...

I shall sell cake truffles & brownies among a few other items. In the meantime, I 'cater.' And I freakin' love it!!!

I kinda make whatever I feel like. Typically it's very unpretentious and 'down home' because that's what I like. Super rich brownies, big sloppy pieces of cake... But hey! I can TOTALLY do snobby, too! You want rum infused dark chocolate strawberries brushed with gold dust from Switzerland?! I'm on it!! (Can I get paid in advance please)?

Just kidding. I love all food equally. The rich and the poor. The decadent and the deep fried. Just like Jesus!

What?

Oh come on!!! You KNOW he was a foodie!!! I mean... helloooo, bread & wine? That's Gourmet Magazine's issue number one right there, people!!! But I digress...(I do that a lot).

Here is my latest 'catering' adventure!

*applause, applause*

These are sugar cookies with royal icing. If I write messages on them, I call them 'Warm Fuzzies.' :)

Typically, I like to make my icing for sugar cookies with almond extract. Typically, I go to the store. Typically, I always forget something. And typically, I used caramel Torani syrup instead.

I enjoy almond better. Oh, the tastes of my childhood... But note to self: If you're ever in a bind & out of extracts in general... Torani caramel syrup totally works! YAY!!!

Pictured here (from bottom to top): Mini Chocolate Chip Cookies, Mini White Chocolate Macadamia Chip Cookies, Mini Red Velvet Cupcakes, Mini Cheesecakes, Warm Fuzzies. Not pictured here: Brownies and No-Bakes (aka: Buttnuggets).

Oooh, look! Here come the red velvets!!!
*Enter the red velvets...applause, applause!*

Red Velvets, Red Velvets!

Look at you dancing on your trays!

You're gorgeous!!

Even more red velvets!

They're so lovely & beautiful!

And they're dancing!

I think so anyway.

They're definitely dancing on the inside.

This following picture cracks me up. It's very Stevie Nicks. You know... if the fan wasn't in the picture. And if she was in a music video. And she was blond & wearing all black & walking on a treadmill.

Interesting story. I've never made mini cheesecakes & read a whole bunch of recipes but didn't really write anything down for the grocery store. When I got home I just kinda fudged a tart bottom & came up with a cheesecake filling. I knew I had blueberries so I figured I'd just stick those on top. They turned out slightly boring, slightly dry, and AWKWARD.

So after racking my brain for a minute or twelve, I decided to defrost a bag of frozen fruit I had in my freezer for 15 years (Tropical Fruit Blend), grind it up in the cuisinart and use that as a topping. Garnish with blueberries.

SAVE.

The fruit blend gave the cheesecakes some moisture and added flavor. They were a surprising underdog of a hit! Who knew?! Someone said something about tasting like sin. I don't know. That's certainly not very Christ-like!

You can buy her CD there, too! :)

My sissy singin'. :)

Here's some Darci Monet trivia for you: Darci has sung back up for Dolly Parton, Steve Winwood, The Judds, Tiffany (yes, I said Tiffany) ((Yes, THAT Tiffany)) (((YES FOR THE LOVE!!!))), Amy Grant and almost every Christian artist you can name.

AND

Remember the scene in Napoleon Dynamite where they're doing the sign language to 'The Rose?' Guess who be singin' that song? That's right. My seester. :)

AND

Her songs have been featured on 'Days of Our Lives' and 'The Apprentice.' Oh snap!

And here's my sister & some other chick. I hear the other chick writes a food blog. HA! Like THAT'S original. Pssh.

Oh look... It's the food blogger person again...

JUST KIDDING, YOU GUYS... IT'S TOTALLY ME!!!

*hee hee hee, snort, snort*


Okay, that's a lie.


THIS is totally me.
As in "I am WAY too excited about this cookie" ME.
*OINK, OINK. *

Now watch my sister's video!! SHE RULES!!!! :) :) :)

Bring out the tissues for 'September' and 'I Should Go'... just warning you...

DARCI'S SHOW!!!

P.S. Anybody know Kelly Clarkson? I REALLY want her to write songs for Kelly Clarkson.

My seester with her 'Fusion' cookie. :) :) :)
Warm Fuzzies with the color scheme of my sissy's CD cover!

Check her out: Darci Monet These are lee-tal meenie cheese-a-cake-uhs!

NO-BAKES

(aka: Buttnuggets)

This blog was just dying to be written! First, Shanny Bananny, my forever friend, has been hound dogging me about the recipe for these delicious cookies.

She's been texting like crazy!

I've been reading texts like crazy!

And then forgetting about them like crazy!

Oops. I just forget about texts.

I's is crazy. :(

Another reason is that summer is almost upon us. That means hot weather. And you know what? Who likes baking in the hot weather? What if you don't have air conditioning? Huh? A lack of the ol' central air? What then?

See, I'm looking out for you. These cookies are called 'No-Bakes' for a reason. Can you guess why? Because they're delicious. Exactly.

Our final reason is that they look like little... well, little piles if you know what I mean. And quite frankly, I've been feeling like little piles (if you know what I mean) recently!

You know that saying? "You are what you eat."

Well here's a new one: "You make how you feel."

Huh.

Doesn't have quite the same ring, now does it?

Anyway, it's INGREDIENTS TIME!!!!

*applause, applause*

OUR CONTESTANTS:

2 3/4 cup sugar

1/2 cup of milk*

1 stick of butter

2 squares of unsweetened chocolate

1 tsp vanilla**

1/2 tsp salt

3 cups of oatmeal

1/2 cup smooth peanut butter

*I didn't have any milk so I substituted heavy cream.

(Who has heavy cream but not milk??? Weird).

**Note to self: Buy vanilla!!!

First things first, set aside in a large bowl the oatmeal and peanut butter.

You can use half a cup. Or you can use this much. Or more. Or lots more. Just not five jars. Five jars is too much.

See? Like so.

Next we're going to boil together the rest of the ingredients.

Sugar.




In today's performance the milk will be replaced by its understudy: heavy cream.
Disappointing, I know. There's Tony buzz for the milk.

Butter. :)



The squares of chocolate, the vanilla and salt. Like so.



Give it all a good stir.



And melt on medium heat, constantly stirring.
Until it BOILS!!! HOW EXCITING!!



Let it boil for 1 minute.


Do NOT boil it for longer than a minute! Do NOT try to take pictures for your food blog. Do NOT stop stirring because it will only overcook the sugary mixture later giving you super crumbly cookies. Put the camera down!!


Sheesh.


Finally, mix it all together.

Now listen to me very carefully... this last part of the recipe is a sprint! No cross country, no pole vaulting & hanging out on the floofy mats, this is a sprint, people!!

You have a very short window of time to drop dollops of oat-y-peanut-butter-y-chocolate-y-goodness onto wax paper. They cool so quickly. If you do not move posthaste they will surely dry out & you'll be left with crumbles. Delicious wonderful crumbles... but crumbles just the same!

I think these are my favorite cookie.

*swoon, swoon*

See? They're pretty crumbly & dry. :(

But yet they're like little miracles in your mouth.

Now in my mouth. Num. :)

Because I'm completely weird, this picture reminds me of Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom. When they're all caravaning through the mountains with the Ark of the Covenant? Could you imagine if these were chocolate oaty peanut buttery mountains? If I had photoshop, I'd draw little tiny people in there.

Am I really this strange?

YES.

Mmmm...buttnuggets. They'll keep me company tonight!

Enjoy!

THIS BLOG DEDICATED TO:

SHANNON ALIEN LEWIS

WHITE CHOCOLATE FRUIT TART

A couple things about floot tarts:

1) They're awfully beauuuuuuuutiful. :)

2) People get reeeeal excited about fruit they don't have to chop up themselves. Like, crazy excited. Like crazy as in they've never seen fruit before excited!

I have to admit: I do, too! It IS awfully sweet & delicious. Mmmm, floooot. :)

Say! Speaking of fruit tarts, let's make one right now with the following ingredients I just happen to have in my house!

*Applause, applause*

INGREDIENTS:

TART:

3/4 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup confectioners' sugar
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

FILLING:
1 (10 ounce) package white chocolate chips, melted and cooled
1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 Pint of raspberries

1 Pint of blackberries
1 pint fresh strawberries, sliced

1 pint of blueberries
12 kiwifruit, peeled and sliced

*Feel free to use any kind of fruit you'd like!

GLAZE:
3 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice

1/2 cup of juice*

**If you use canned fruit as well as fresh fruit (ex: peaches, pineapple, etc.), the sweetened juice left in the can is GREAT for this! I used coconut mango because it sounded good. Doesn't it!? It's also great with vodka! I mean...

Preheat the oven to 300.

"Spartans, tonight we dine in FRUIT TART!!!!"

That makes no sense.

Beat butter & powdered sugar in a mixing bowl until light & floofy!


Floofy, floofy!

Gradually add flour.
Then mix.
Add flour.
Then mix.
Add flour...

...then mix.


Good ol' flour. Trusty. Dependable. Flour-y.


And now the mixture is nice & crumbly. Bueno!

Begin to press the mix into your 11-inch ungreased tart tin.

Press.


Hello, little guy! You're about to go in the oven!

Bake for 25-30 minutes.



While our tart is in the oven, we're going to melt down our 10 ounce pkg of white chocolate chips. It's best to do this with a double broiler, but you can also melt chocolate in a saucepan on low. Just be sure to stir constantly! White chocolate can be finicky. :)


Let it cool.


Here is our handsome tart crust.


Next, let's beat our melted white chocolate and cream.
Add the cream cheese and beat until smooth.





Now if you're a buttnugget like me & are trying to do 50 things at once (I'd never!) you may leave your white chocolate cooling for too long & it could get 'too cool for school' and harden. If this happens, you can reheat it.


OR


You can say, "Screw it. Who's got the time to reheat? Those desperate college kids that work for me will eat anything!" And put the unsmooth filling in the tart crust anyway.


See? Lots o' chunks:

I hereby name this floot tart: White Chocolate CHUNK Fruit Tart

See what I did there? Heh heh.

Next, you want to decorate your fruit tart. This is the where the fun begins! Or where the fun ended for me! By the time I got around to actually making this fruit tart, my raspberries & blackberries had molded. Wah. :(

So I used what I had left. Almost moldy blueberries, strawberries and kiwi.

It turned out awfully purty, though! :)

Hmmm... I feel like something's missing...

Ah! The GLAZE! How could I forget!? It's like the make-up of the fruit world!

Put the tart in the fridge for about 30 minutes. While the tart is setting, whip up the glaze!

Combine the sugar and cornstarch in a small saucepan.

Then stir in the lemon juice & 1/2 cup of juice.

Bring it to a boil on medium heat.

Watch as it thickens! Oooh! Ahhhh!

Once it's done & your 30 minutes are up, brush the glaze over the fruit. A real thin layer is all you need otherwise it turns out looking like somebody sneezed on your tart.

I know. That's disgusting. But it's true, my friends. And nobody wants a snotty floot tart!

See? A little dab'll do ya.

And look how gorgeous!!! :) :) :)

It's really delicious & super easy!

It practically does the work for you!

Okay, that's a lie.

But still... fruit tarts are like babies. There's just not an ugly one in the bunch! And even if there is an ugly one, they still taste delicious! Babies, I mean... Huh?

Enjoy! :)

"BITTERSWEET CHICAGO" 

GERMAN CHOCOLATE CAKE

Wah.  :(

I'm calling this cake 'Bittersweet Chicago' because I want to, darn it!  This isn't 'Chicago-style' or 'deep dish' German Chocolate cake (mmm, deep dish German Chocolate...note to self!)  I'm calling it Chicago cause I'm IN Chicago and it's currently bittersweet.  

The Sweet Lovin' Man had his huuuuuuge CFA exam on Saturday.  He's been studying soooo hard for the past six months and TOTALLY rocked it out.  YAY!!!  But this exam is a total "Martha Focker" if you will & it's taken sooo much out of him.  So I flew out to Chicago to surprise him once it was over and to give him lots & lots of  needed lovey dovey pets & scratches. 

Did I mention how handsome he his???

*swoon, swoon*

  We had the BEST weekend and it's bittersweet because I have to say goodbye to him in a few hours.  

Again, I say, 'Wah.'  :(

Long distance sucks rusty hosewater.  You know what doesn't?  German Chocolate Cake.

Let's get to it, shall we? :)

INGREDIENTS:

For the cake:         

 1 Box of German Chocolate or Devil's Food Cake Mix*

3 large eggs

1/2 cup of oil (or Ol' as I like to call it)

1 1/4 cup of water

*Yeah, I just made a box cake.  Sue me.

For the filling:

1 cup of heavy cream

1 cup of sugar

3 large eggs

3 ounces of butter, cut into small pieces*

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup pecans, toasted & finely chopped

1 1/3 cups unsweetened coconut, toasted

*A stick of butter is 4 ounces, so it's about 3/4 of a stick of butter!  I know, I know... those crazy ounces.  Why would I do that to you?  Because I'm sad, darn it, and projecting!!!  

Wah.  :(

For the syrup:

1 cup of water

3/4 cup of sugar

 2 tablespoons of dark rum (or whatever your Favorite Russian Clerk at the liquor store gives you.  "Try.  You like.")

Icing:

8 ounces bittersweet or semi-sweet chocolate, chopped

2 tblsp light corn syrup

1 & 1/2 ounces of unsalted butter*

1 cup of heavy cream

*Again, a stick of butter is 4 ounces.  So you're gonna have to do the math.  It's too early.

Alrighty, little lambs.  First, we're gonna bake our box cake.  You mix up the above ingredients, grease your 2- 9 inch cake pans, dump the mixture into the pans & bake.  Read the box.  Done & done.  I could do this step by step, but who's got the time?  

*puts on slick 'Jerry Maguire' sunglasses & begins making phonecalls*

Let's toast the coconut & pecans.

Mmm, I LOVE coconut.  "You put dee lime in dee coconut..."

And chop up your pecans.  

Weigh in.  Pe-cawns or pe-cans?

Spread both out in a single layer on baking sheets.

Toast at 350 for about 10 minutes.  Stirring halfway through.

The pecawns/pecans may only need 5-7 minutes.  They burn easily so keep in mind your only toasting them until they give off a wonderful pecawn/pecan aroma!

Oh deliciousness.  

Wah.  :(

Put the 3 ounces of butter, salt, toasted coconut & pecawn/pecan pieces in a large bowl.

In a medium saucepan, mix the cream, sugar & egg yolks.

Heat the cream mixture & cook, stirring constantly until the mixture begins to thicken and coat the spoon.  If you have a handy thermometer, it should say 170 degrees.  I don't.  So whatevs.  Whatevs, I say!!  :(

Poor the custardy deliciousness immediately into & over & all around the pecawn/pecan coconut mixture.  Stir until the butter is melted.  Let cool to room temperature.

Taste.

SWOON.  

I have to tell you, homemade German Chocolate filling in one of the best experiences on the planet.  It's soooo sweet.  Almost as sweet as The Sweet Lovin' Man.  Wah.  :(

This was the pouring.

This was the stirring.

And this is the tasting.

What?  A little (or a lot) of quality control never killed anybody!

Now it's time to make the icing.  I LOVED this huge honkin' Wonka-esque bar I found at Trader Joe's.  How fun!  

Hello, friend... Nom, nom, nom!

Place 8 ounces of chopped chocolate in a bowl with the corn syrup and 1 & 1/2 ounces of butter.  Hope you guys did the math right!  (You know who's good at math?  The Sweet Lovin'-- oh, nevermind.  *sigh*)

Heat the cream until it just begins to boil.  

Remove from heat & pour over chocolate mixture.

This picture reminds me of one of those salad dressing commercials where they play the vibrant western music.  Splash!  Splash!  

I'm weird.

Let stand for one minute.  You can do 60 jumping jacks.  Or if you're just about to leave your boyfriend, you can eat the remainder of the 16 ounce chocolate bar you bought.  Which should take about 30 seconds.  

From there, you can do 30 jumping jacks or you can open the freezer & check out the ice cream situation.

Wah.  :(

Once your minute is up, pull yourself together.  You'll need all of your strength to stir & stir & stir.  There's no crying in Bittersweet Chicago German Chocolate Cake!!!

Once it's room temperature & smooth, contemplate drowning self in bowl of chocolate. 

Don't.  Cause you're a Johnstown Field Hockey Champion & Johnstown Field Hockey Champions know that hard circumstances build character.  And Johnstown Field Hockey Champions are all about character!!!

Hey!  Guess what?  My chocolate was too liquidy.  I didn't let it come to a boil cause I'm what the French call, "stupid."  So I just threw in some powdered sugar.  And vway-ol-ay!

Once your cake is cool, flip it over onto a cake board or a plate.

Next we're gonna make our syrup.  I don't have pictures for this.  I was too busy being sad.

Actually, I DO have pictures for this, but they're in California & I forgot to send them to myself.  Whoops.

So here's what you do:

In a small saucepan, heat the sugar & water on med-high heat until the sugar has melted. Remove from heat & stir in the rum.

THAT'S CRAZY!  HOWEVER WILL YOU DO IT WITHOUT THE PICTURES!!??

Sadness= MandiCrocker gets mean!!!

Then brush the syrup liqueur onto the surface of the cake.  Because this is a box cake, it's pretty porous.  If yours is not, feel free to poke a bunch of holes in the top with a fork.  Besides, it feels good!

Let the syrup sink in a bit.  Num.

Now spread a thin layer of icing on the top.  Like so.  Then do a step ball change.

OH.  YUM.

Next, put a giant glop of the coconut pecawn/pecan mixture on the top.  OH STINKIN' YUM.  YUM. YUM. YUM.  

Awww, man! I keep deleting my pictures on accident.  Please read this again on Wednesday will you?  I'll add them when I get home.  I'd hate for you to miss out on any deliciousness!  Especially when I'm already sad!  

Double wah.  :(

Next you're going to take the other cake layer & brush it with liquer as well.  Except you're going to flip it over & brush the- *cough, cough* -the bottom of it.  It's okay.  It may seem a little uncomfortable at first, but it's necessary & over in a jiff!

Put the cake on the top of the other.  Like so.  Step ball change.     

Begin to ice.  Mmmmmm...  This ALMOST makes me feel better.

On the top you're going to spread out the remaining pecawn/pecan goodness, leaving about an inch on the sides.  Decorate with rosettes.  Or whatever, right?  Who is this for, the Queen of England!???

Like so.  Ball change.

Honestly, you could just throw the cake in a large bowl.  Dump the coconut on top of it.  Dump the icing on top of it & dig in.  It's SOOOO STINKIN' GOOD.  But it's only good to do that when you're sad.  Cause that's the only time it's calorie-free.

Just kidding, honey!  

He's all "Please tell me you're not really going to eat an entire cake."

Puh-shuh!!!  I would NEVER.

(Nom, nom, nom).

I'm gonna miss you, honey.

I already do.

*sigh*

xoxox.