September 10, 2009


I have a confession to make. When I make large quantities of baked goods, I am not a neat person. I become a tornado & my kitchen becomes the aftermath.

"But... but... I'll need that flour for the next batch! Why put it away?"

So I thought I'd humor you all with my reality:

This is also the reason why at 3 in the morning, I'm tearing my hair out screaming, "WHERE IS THE CAP FOR THE FREAKIN' VANILLA!!!???"

Then a few moments later, usually after a good cry & I've updated my Facebook status to "I HATE EVERYTHING," I make a deal with God.

"Okay, God?...*deep sigh*... I'm tired. *Another deep sigh.* I haven't slept and I have to work tomorrow. EARLY tomorrow. You know this. Please help me find the cap for the vanilla. I promise next time I'll clean as I go."

Then ten minutes later I find the cap and know in my heart that I've lied to God. I also wonder why in the world He keeps on falling for this!?

Which is typically on the floor & now I'm thanking God for helping me to find the vanilla cap but am brutally angry I had to step on it ("OW!!!! #$%&!!!") to find it.

"Thank you for the cap but seriously!? SERIOUSLY!?"

Then God quietly says to me, "Holmes? It's your own dang fault. Get to sleep at a reasonable hour and clean your stinkin' kitchen already!"

"And for the love of all that is good and holy, throw the oven mitts in the wash!!!"

And then I cry. Then I'm done. Then I go to bed.
And that's the story of how I bake! YAY!!!! :) :) :)

The next day is always the best, though. After a few hours of sleep I get to take another look at the results, bring them into work & make people happy!

I mean look at these beauties!

From left to right:

Banana Caramel
Pumpkin Spice Cupcakes with Candied Pecawwwwns --
(you have to say pecawwwns like an old rich English woman)
Chocolate PB Cup Cupcakes

I was really happy with the way they turned out!

I was slightly disappointed with the banana caramel. I mixed the homemade caramel into the buttercream too much so it didn't have bright swirls. Very disappointing. They were also a little too sweet. :(

But I'm being hard on myself...

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT A JOHNSTOWN FIELD HOCKEY CHAMPION DOES, MARTHA FOCKERS!!! AWWWW, YEAH!!!! JHSFH Champions believe in excellence, people!!! Pride! Dedication! Tradition! *cue Lunatic Fringe*

(Suddenly I feel the need to punish myself through sprints).

((Oftentimes I wonder if anyone understands anything I'm talking about or if it all just makes sense to me. I'm too scared to know the answer to this.))

I thought these ladies turned out just lovely, though. :)

Ever since I read 'To Kill A Mockingbird' in Mr. Maderic's 9th grade English class, I've always thought of cupcakes as ladies... or vice versa.

"Ladies bathed before noon, after their three-o'clock naps, and by nightfall were like soft teacakes with frostings of sweat and sweet talcum."

I love mini cupcakes.
They're just so freakin' cute. :)

Num. :)
The end.


Darci said...

1) There is NO SUCH THING as "too sweet."

2) I loved them ALL, but of course, being an all-things-pumpkin freak, the pumpkin spice were my faves. Gimme more.

3) I understand everything except comparing cupcakes to sweaty southern ladies.

Love you.

Robyn said...

I have a list too.

1) I loveyouloveyouloveyou.

2) I LOVE your blog and thank my lucky stars that you started one and I know about it and read it because it's just so perfect.

3) You are hilarious...yeah, yeah, yeah...we've known that for years...but Mandi...your humor is so endearing and adorable and you remind me of Tina Fey.

4) Isaac just pooted.

5) You are a really talented baker. People tell you that, right? That is something you know deep inside yourself, right? Own it.

MandiCrocker said...

Dingy Dongy, that's what the Ipod said!!! "Can caramel BE too sweet?" *sigh*

And Robini... thank you. Coming from such a talented, hilarious lady yourself... that means the world to me. Isaac must be feeling the excitment, too. ;)

JoJo said...

I signed up when I saw the FREE COUNTER at the bottom of the blog! How do I get my FREE COUNTER too?
-cakes look rad sis. Send cake now!

heathernkids said...

tears tears tears from laughing at the mess, that is SO my kitchen!

MandiCrocker said...

heathernkids, hahahaha!!!! and that is SOOOO my sweatband!!! :)

MandiCrocker said...

and/or glass of wine... it's a toss up!

Miss Daisy said...

The pumpkin spice are to die for and the rest of them look awesome, hon. Nice work. FIX YO' KITCHEN ! :)

MandiCrocker said...

Huh. So neither of us are in bed right now, eh? I meant to, honey!! I really did! :)

stacy marie said...


Oh golly...I ate that entire box in a day, just so you know. sooooo yummy.